A Black Shadow, and BloodRed Eyes
by The Haunted Alchemist
Summary: Ed has nightmares about failing to rescue Al from Envy. A disturbance occurs and Ed has been Transmuted into a blood thirsty, Wolf Chimera. Now, he's desperate to protect the ones he loves,But, can he protect loved ones from himself? Told in Ed's POV.
1. INTRO

"What you are about to read, stays between me, you, and my little brother Alphonse. My name is Edward Elric, also commonly known as 'The Fullmetal Alchemist'. My little brother, Alphonse Elric, and I have been searching for the legendary Alchemic amplifier, The Philosopher's Stone. After five years of searching, we finally found it, and I restored my brother's body to normal. In life there are the 'Heroes' and the 'Villains'...what ever path you choose to take, well that's your decision. This is a story of an adventure just beginning, of when you choose the path of a 'Hero'. 'Heroes' may face suffering, but it's always worth it in the end to know that you've helped out people and 'saved the day'. When I was little, I always looked up to 'Heroes' and I knew, that's what I wanted to be...a real,Hero, to stand up for what my heart believes in, do good, and help out others in need. After this journey is over, you can decide for yourself which side you would rather take."

- Edward Elric


	2. The Dream

yea, sorry i discontinued my other fan fic- it sucked and i had the HUGEST BRAINFART IN THE HISTORY OF BRAINFARTS! if you don't know what a brain fart is refer to the story "lessons learned" by al-luvs-kitties...IT ROCKS! this is spoiler free, so get over it! AND THERE **_NO_** EDXMUSTANG PAIRS FOR ALL YOU SICK PERVERTED PEOPLE WHO PUT EDWARD WITH THAT CREEP!(puts on a sweet face) enjoy! note...al's human and 16, ed's still got automail(dang it!) and is 17

P.S. FOR MY TWO REVEIWERS THIS IS REVISED W/ LESS OR NO MISS SP'S, I CORRECTED ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS TOO! ; )

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_Falling...falling...it's was all over now, I knew I had failed him...I failed him from the start. All there was left was the clouds...the wind whistling in my ears, the air around me. I could tell that I wasn't that far from my death...the end...i'm sorry al...but, I failed you again..._

My eyes flew open. It was that same dream again, I've had it for almost a week. It was always Al getting kidnapped by Envy. We're standing on the face of a cliff , I jump off and I start to fall...cold sweat dripped off of the edge of my nose as I glanced over at the clock,"4:00 AM". Alphonse was probably still asleep. I forced myself out of bed and opened the balcony window and walked out. The cool wind blew gently across my face as I leaned against the guard rail. Me and al have been staying here in Resembool for as long as three weeks. I scanned the horizon when my eyes fell on a heap of old, burned remains of a house. I felt a twinge of pain in my heart as memories, more like nightmares flooded back to me...of _that_ night. Four years ago, me and my little brother Alphonse, attempted to revive our mother...unfourtunatly, it ended with dire consequences...

_.:flashback:._

_"BROTHER!" Alphonse screamed and reached out for me. I ignored the pain in my leg and stretched out for him...but before I could reach him...he was gone..._

_  
.:end flashback:._

I closed my eyes and listened to the river. The breeze blew again, it was as if the wind was bringing all my memories back...the good and the bad, until a tired voice broke my thoughts and concentration on the Transmutation.

"Brother...?" I turned to face my sleepy eyed little brother. I gave him a weak, tired smile.

"Sorry al...did I wake you up?" He trudged over next to me, rubbing his eyes in the process.

"I heard you yelling" he said. Yelling? had i really been yelling in my sleep? The wind blew again, hard enough to hear the leaves rustling in the trees. I looked at Al, it was hard to believe that he was really 16. When he was 14 he was in large, empty suit of armor, which I sealed his soul to. During the Transmutation, I lost my left leg and Al lost his whole body, then I sacrificed my right arm for his soul and bound it to the armor. Sometimes I still feel guilty for what I did...even though now, he has his body back. I stared down at my right hand, still automail...the thought and the guilt of _that _night still haunts me...even now, when I'm 17...6 years after it occured. I felt Al's worried and sad gaze on me.

"Brother,...are you sure your ok? you haven't gotten much sleep lately...", he asked. Slowly and reluctantly, I pulled my stare away from my hand, and clenched my fist at the painful memories from _that _night.

"Yeah, al...i'll be fine" I finally replied. I looked up to see the horizon with a little yellow, mixed with pink. I hadn't realized how long I had been out on the balcony. A new day had come...and who knows what in the hell would happen in me and Al's crazy adventure we call our lives...

**END CHAPTER ONE

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YO wassap! review PLZ! I LIVE OFF OF REVIEWS! I'LL TAKE _ANY_ KIND OF CRITISISM!  
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	3. I'm sorry, The sorrow of an Alchemist

HEY i'm back, sorry i havn't updated yet, had another brain fart, LMAO!(laughin' my ass off)

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Daybreak had finally started. Me and Al started downstairs, we decided to create some type of breakfast, to surprise Winry and Aunt Pinako. Let me tell you, me and Al, weren't exactly the best cooks on the face of the planet...let alone the whole universe. The last time we _ever_ cooked was when we were little, around five and six, Thanksgiving dinner...what a disaster...the turkey caught on fire. Ahem, but anyway...I let my mind wander back to my dreams, questions filled my head with deciving thoughts...would I really fail to save Al from Envy? Without warning, I suddenly felt dizzy and I started to fall down the staircase. I heard Al calling my name, but his voice was distant and muffled. Darkness drowned my every thought,and emotion. 

_I heard the wind in my ears again. I looked up, only to see the ground rushing up toward me...the sky grew a dark shade of blood red. There was the sound of a deep snarling of...a wolf? Then, there was a flash of blinding white light, unbearable pain shot through my mind. I heard another ferocious snarl, and I realized it had come from...me_

"Brother! Brother!" Al's voice burst clearly into my head, intensifying the throbbing pain. I opened my eyes to see Al over me, wide-eyed and worried.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Y-yeah...I-i think so...just a dizzy is all..." I lied nervously and sat up. Then I knew, that the pain in the dream was real. I rubbed my temples with my right hand and shivered at the surprisingly cold the hard metal, I mean it's metal...duh.

The sound of hurried footsteps echoed through the house and a wet, coldnose sniffed mine: Den.

"Edward!" cried a worried voice: Winry.

"What did you dothis time, pipsqueak?" asked an older sounding voice: Pinako. My head was throbbing too painfully to react to the word and put up an argument...

"Wow, that's a first..." I thought sourly. Al and Winry helped me back on my feet.

"We heard a loud crash! I-we were so worried! YOU DIDN'T BREAK **MY** AUTOMAIL, _AGAIN_ DID YOU?" she shouted, rather loudly...in my ear.

Yup, that's Winry for ya...the auto machine junkie...if I **had** to tell you how much shes "loves" Automail...I'd bore you to death. Finally, my throbbing headache had come to a stop. "I'm fine...AND NO! I DIDN'T BREAK **MY** AUTOMAIL!" I shot back."Brother, calm down!"said Al.

Time passed and breakfast hadn't been a total abomination, Me and al had managed to create _something_ eatable without burning the house to the ground: Ceral...and me,of course, ate it dry...without the milk.

I stared down at the full bowl of food. Those stupid dreams...they always have me wondering...doubting...thinking. I felt the weight of everyone's soft and worried gazes fall on me.

"Ed...?" asked Winry.

"Brother..." said Al.

"I'll be back..." I answered both as I stood up and walked out the door. Al and Winry exchanged worried looks. Alphonse also stood up and followed me.

I sat against a big oak tree, my favorite thinking spot where I could take refuge in the shade andmull over things...things in the future...things in the past and things I regret.

"Does al...hate me?" I painfully thought."for the way we live and if he doesn't, why doesn't he?" I looked down and focused my mind on the ground. Perhaps my "ultimate mind powers" could somehow split the earth underneath me, and I would fall to the depths of the earths core. I smiled weakly at the thought, but as soon as the smile came it was just as easily, gone.

"Brother...? are you ok? your not like yourself" he sat next to me.

"Hey Al...?" I started softly. Should I ask him? Do I really want to know the truth? Sometimes lies don't hurt as much. "mmhmm?". Maybe I deserve to know, but I have been asking Al the same question over and over again...maybe because, I kept asking myself over and over again. I hesitated.

"What is it?" he asked, unaware of the subject.

"If I asked you something, do you promise to answer truthfully...?" I asked, nervously.

I didn't _want_ to keep annoying him, I just wanted to make sure that the truth...was really the truth.

"I-i..." I trailed off.

"Tell me" said Al, sounding concerned now.

"Do you wish sometimes that our lives were different?" I asked. The sky grew dark and it rumbled with thunder. I looked up and it started to rain, I felt the wetness of the rain start to drench every inch of me. I look back down at the dirt, and tried to get my mind off the subject...

"Brother, why do you keep asking me this?" he shouted. I blew it. "Stop blaming yourself for everything! it's not your f-" Al started.

"Alphonse, it's all my fault...don't forget, I'm the one who thought of the stupid idea of trying to bring her back" I interrupted.

"Brother! Stop it!" He cried. "So what if I do think it's really your fault!". I felt something semi-hard connect, with perfect aim, to my jaw. I fell over and looked up at Al...who wasn't there.

"A-al...? Al! ALPHONSE!" I called. I stood up quickly, covered in mud. "Alphonse?" I called out again. My little brother had run away and he was vernerable...to Envy. I felt dizzy and fell forward, back in the dirt and mud. "a-al...come back..." I croaked. I was falling through darkness, once again.

**END CHAPTER 2: 'I'M SORRY';THE SORROW AND PAINS OF AN ALCHEMIST

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ok, it's 1:00 in the frickin' mornin' yawn and I am so tired. Hope you like it , yada yada, plz review... (falls over in chair asleep)ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ 


	4. The transmutation and the transformation

YOU PEOPLE DON'T REVIEW! I NEED TO KNOW IF I'M GOOD OR NOT but i'm just at the third chapter so, i'm getting there

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_I was running away, from who or what, I wasn't sure...however the snarling was a big clue. My lungs were on fire, arms pumping at my sides. I was racing for my life. I could hear the snapping of teeth close at my heels, and the sound of a helicopter. My mind raced, looking for a way out. That's when I saw it, The Cliff. I braced my self and jumped...Pain burst into my mind as I fell..._

I woke up with a start, my head was throbbing painfully. An evil laugh echoed around me. "Envy..." I spat as if is left a bad taste in my mouth.

"What's da madder 'hero'? aww da poor pipsqueak's godda headache?" he sneered.

"SHUT UP I AM NOT SMALL!" I stood up and turned to face the creature that Bastard created. It always hurt to think of _him_. I always shoved the good and the bad memories of _him_ out of my mind. My migrane had already taken care of that. Envy just stood there smirking. I wanted to slam his face in the dirt and watch him bleed; I restrainted myself. Envy moved aside to reveal...

"AL!" I cried. I sprang forward to see if Al was ok, only to be punched in the gut by Envy. I fell to my knees and held in a cry of pain. I coughed harshly and an iron taste burst into my mouth...blood. I could feel the weight of Envy's stare and smirk. "a-al..." I coughed.

"Come to the old abandoned torture warehouse, **if** you want to save your dear brother." Envy picked up Al, my brother...my only family left and disappeared. I cursed to myself. I stood up and sprinted, hard, trying my best to ignore the excruciating pain. I had to find the warehouse and save Al. I wandered around and started asking people if they knew where the warehouse was. I was tired...cold and wet, I couldn't care less. Al was out there and in trouble, and it was **all my stupid fault**.

"That warehouse is on the other side of the river, but there's a storm blowing though I wouldn't go there now!" said and old woman. I didn't care...I didn't give a damn. Lightning streaked the sky and the thunder roared. For what seemed like hours, I walked out of town and I found the warehouse. The door let out a loud creak as I pulled them open. Envy's sinister laughs echoed throughout the building.

"Brother...run i-it's a trap..." I heard Al's voice whimper.

"Al!" I started to run over to him to double check if Envy hadn't hurt him. Envy jumped down from the rafters between myself and my brother.

"SURPRISE, HERO!" He shouted and he pushed me back. I stumbled backwards and lost my balance. As I fell, I heard the sound of a clap and a blinding light came up from under me. **I was over a transmutation circle. **The pain lasted for eternity. My cries echoed...I couldn't gather my thoughts, c-couldn't concentrate...too much pain. **A long mournful howl rose over my cries of pain.** I was slipping into darkness once again.

"Did the it work?" asked Envy.

"Yes...now he is a **Chimera...**" said a voice.

"_Dante, _what if this fails?" Envy asked.

"Peace my child...This will work, I'll make sure of it..."

**END CHAPTER 3: THE TRANSMUTATION AND THE TRANSFORMATION

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**WELL THERE YOU GO!


	5. Black Fur and Red Eyes

Sorry guys i'm trying hard to keep writing b/c i have to work, (to my bro) I'M WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN GIVE ME A BREAK! YOU ONLY HAVE 2 MORE (including this1) CHAPTERS TO READ UNTILL YOUR UPDATED! any way this is a super, uber short chapter...sorry! --u

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The iron taste of blood seeped through the cracks of my teeth. I bit down harder on the neck of my victim. I wasn't myself, I wasn't controlling my own actions.

_Hello, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist._

A Chill ran down my spine. That voice...it was me...but, not really me...

_I 'thank you' for letting me control and use your body_.

I looked over at a broken mirror, the long and narrow cracks ran across the face...of a black wolf, with blood red eyes. I turned,...nothing. I looked back at my reflection. Was the wolf...me?

_Yes, Edward. The wolf is **us**._

The smell of blood lingered in the air around me.

_I will regain control later, Edward, when you are weakest you are the most vernerable to me...or perhaps you loved ones are the most vernerable..._

I looked down at my hand...human again, blood was dripping from my palms. I stood up, glaced at the cracked mirror to see myself, my_ real_ self. I turned, the sight I saw was horrific...his cold and lifeless body...covered in blood, claw marks and bite marks. He layed there motionless, then I understood...I had murdered Roy Mustang.

**END CHAPTER 5: BLACK FUR, AND RED EYES

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for your dying sake, alphonse i'm going to continue...even though it's 2:25 AM! REVIEW! SORRY IT'S SO FREAKIN' SHORT!


	6. Away From Me

hey guys i'm working as fast as i can (to my bro: i'm tryin'! i'm just under a lot of stress and pressure but, i'm getting there! (cough """")

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I was afraid, afraid of facing reality that I had acually killed a loved one. Well I did hate Mustang, but not so much to _kill _him! 

**:I hold my breath as this life starts to take it's toll:**

_It's better to face reality, Edward, sleeping in you dreams, leads to false truths. Our dreams are just places where pathetic humans escape to or take refuge in...the don't want to know the truth. They live in their fantasies, where they can rewrite reality._

**:I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds:**

My Jaw tightened, I was clenching and unclenching my fists. I had no clue what in the hell was going on with me. Al was nowhere to be found, I'm some kind of chimera and Envy might of already killed Alphonse!

**:But, O God, I feel I've been lied to**

**Lost all faith in the things I have achieved in:**

I was stressed out and way to tired to deal with this.

"Edward!" a voice called. Pain shot across my mind and it slowly spread down my arms and infected my body. I could feel myself beginning to morph. I turned to see Winry, eyes widened and shocked.

**:And I, I've woken now to find myself in the shadows of all I've created:**

She saw my 'other side'. I felt a snarl rising up into my throat.

_Give into the feeling...be free and release you fury and rage..._

"e-ed...?" she called again.

_KILL her...KILL THE GIRL!_

_**:I'm longing to be lost in you**_

_**Won't you take me away from me:**_

I snarled and stepped forward. I stepped into a puddle and my reflection rippled. I had no control over myself.

"Winry...run!" I thought, even though I knew it wouldn't do any good whatsoever. It was too late...I could feel the Adrenaline pumping through me, racing through my viens.

**:Crawling through this world as disease flows through my viens**

**I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed:**

I tried to resist. I couldn't kill anyone else,but no...not Winry. She stood there frozen in fear, however there was a look of concern in her eyes. I had to run, if she didn't...Then for sure I would kill her. I struggled to turn myself around. _WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU TRAITOR!_, shrieked the voice.

**:I can't go on like this, **

**I loathe all I've become: **

I wasn't going to just stand here and watch my 'Chimera side' murder my best friend. I couldn't...I just couldn't... the 'battle' in my mind was overwhelming. My Chimera side was strong, and I was doing my best to overcome it.

**:I've woken now, to find myself in the shadows of all I've created:**

But, the thought started to sink in...here I was, five feet away...I could easily turn and-NO!

"I can't...I-I...I WON'T!" I thought angrily.

_Give up, Edward, give into me and let me have complete control_.

**:I'm longing to be lost in you**

**Won't you take me away from me:**

I was exhausted, and my Chimera side was winning.

_Yes that's it, KILL her._

"Winry run!" I concentrated hard on that thought.

"I-i...i won't leave you, ed..." She said.

_Aww...how sweet...it's a shame my teeth will be crushing her heart!_

**:Lost in a dying world, I reach for somthing more**

**I have grown so weary of this lie I live:**

I felt my fury ripping away at my soul...

**:I've woken now, to find myself in the shadows of all I've created**

**I'm longing to be lost in you**

** Won't you take me away from me? (X 2)**

I sprang forward, snarling...and baring my teeth. A blood chilling howl of pain filled the night sky, as the thunder roared

**:Away from me...(echoing out):**

**END CHAPTER 5: AWAY FROM ME****  
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	7. Hero: part 1

hey there my dear brother! (since you are the only one reading this) heres chapter 7, and pretty much every thing i've typed so far is COMPLETELY different from what i wrote on paper. EnJoY! XP (this contains another mirror scence,al, lol)

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_I fell to my knees in defeat, blood dripped down over the deep gash over my left eye. Envy laughed. _

_" Tell me, Fullmetal, why have you chosen the path of a 'hero'?" The blood was making the cut burn. "Why suffer, when you can join me? think of what great things we can create...or even better...WHAT WE CAN DESTROY! We could create the Philosopher's Stone and clense the world of these disgusting humans." he continued. I still had some spirit left in me. _

_"If they're so 'disgusting'..why are you in such a hurry to become one?" I asked, not bothering to hide the sarcasam in my tone. _

_"SHUT UP! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT STUPID BASTARD, YOU CALL YOUR FATHER CREATED ME!" he screamed. _

_"HE IS NOT MY FATHER!", I countered, "I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM!". I stood up, and my knees weakened. I swung at Envy hoping I'd make contact. Obviously, he dodge with ease. _

_"Why do you protect the humans? We don't have to play our parts...the Villian and the Hero. Choose your path..._

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. It was still raining and I was soaked to the bone. Envy was crouched on top of the steeple of an old, small church. I found that I was not entirely soaked with rain, but also I was covered in dark blood. I looked up at the steeple and Envy was gone. Maybe he wasn't really there...maybe. Clumsily, I managed to stand up and walk in side the church. I slowly turned and almost jumped at the sight of my reflection in a mirror. Then I remembered...

**FLASHBACK**

**"e-ed...?" I sprang forward...snarling and baring my teeth. A cry of pain, or rather a howl, echoed as I morphed back to normal. The iron taste of blood filled my mouth, once again. My arm dripping with thick, crimson liquid. Then...I ran, leaving Resembool far behind me.  
**

**END FLASHBACK**

I bit down hard on my arm at the very last moment. Pain spread down my left arm and I cried out, falling to my knees. I lifted up my ripped sleeve. I cursed under my breath. I didn't know how long I could take this. Al was gone, and I was this close to murdering my best friend. I **had** to save Al, that's all that mattered,But, how? I looked back up the the mirror, I couldn't recognize myself : black hair, and red, rage filled eyes.

_Give up, Edward._

Searing pain burst into every corner, every inch of my mind.

"Give up, 'hero' " a voice called out in the shadows behind my back. I stood up quickly and whirled around. Head throbbing, I did my best to stand my ground. Envy casually stepped forward, smirking...as usual, "You can't win this time... I have your weakness" He reached out in the shadows and pulled Alphonse roughly into the light.

"Al!" I called.

"B-brother...run..", he whispered subconsiously.

"You...BASTARD!" I took a swing at Envy, and he easily dodged as my fist punched the air.

"Temper, temper..." he sneered. That only fueled my anger, my chimera side. I swung around and nailed him in the stomach with a kick. I heard a small, and satisfying '_oof '_. As he stumbled backward and released Al, who crumpled to the ground. I glared at Envy and looked down at Alphonse, to check if he was ok. BAD MISTAKE. Envy hit his mark and I fell on my back. The pain in my jaw wasn't nearly as strong as my headache. Envy smirked and motioned toward himself.

"C'mon, 'hero'." he said. The rage only built up inside of me.

_Yes, give into fury..._

I stood up, gritting my teeth. I clasped my hands together, crossed them over my chest and threw out my arms by my sides. A blue shockwave had blown Envy back. He hadn't had time to brace himself and he was plastered up against the wall. Envy's face of pain slowly grew into an evil grin. He laughed. Fire burned deep inside of me. I wanted blood, _his_ blood. I wanted to **kill** Envy for taking the only family I have left.

"Yes that's the power I want" he said, plucking himself out of the wall, "Tell me...why? Why are **_you_** the hero?" I launched myself at him, thoughts of my hands grasping his throat and throttling him until I saw the life leave his eyes filled my pain stricken mind. It felt like all of Hell's fire had unleashed in my soul and lit it with enough rage and hatred to kill a thousand hommunculi...all at once. Envy raised his knee and it collided with my chest, hard. It caught me off guard and my lungs weezed for air. I stepped back and looked up. Envy was gone, but Al was still here. Seconds ticked by, seconds that felt like they were long drawn out hours. The fire in me was beginning to douse, but I pushed the fear away.

"c'mon..." I snarled to myself. Envy lashed out of the shadows. Something silver in his hand, moved too fast for my eye to track. It sliced down the left side of my face. I cried out and fell to my knees in defeat.

"Answer me...why have you chosen the path of a Hero?" he asked again...My dream...

**END CHAPTER 7: HERO PART ONE**


	8. We Are

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FREAK HAPPEND BUT I HAD TO REWRITE 2 WHOLE CHAPTERS! oh yea, i have no clue if greenwich is real me and audrianna made it up on the bus. Sorry a/b the chapter being so freakin' short, i'm working on that...I write it on notebook paper b4 i type it here and it ends up being a little...short THANK YOU AL FOR 'WE ARE' : song " we are" by Ana Johnson :

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**: See the devil on the doorsteps now, My oh My :**

"I'm offering you a choice..'Hero'. Join me and I'll spare your brother...think of what we can create, or that we can destoy! I can use someone of you talents and abilities. Trust me, the path of a Hero only leads to misery" he completed...finally. I stood up.

"And al...?" I asked, warily. Envy smirked.

"Will be free to go". I stared down at the ground.

**: Telling everybody, oh how to live their lives :**

"I-i'll do it..." I whispered, wishing I said anything. Envy told me to meet him in Greenwich and he once again stepped back into the shadows, disappearing from my sight. Ignoring the searing pain over my left eye, I rushed and kneeled by Al's side. He groaned and stirred slightly.

"Al...? are you ok?" I asked, feeling stupid for asking...of course he wasn't ok!

**: Sliding down the information highway**

**Buying in just like a bunch of fools **

**Time is ticking and we can't go back :**

He opened his eyes and I helped him sit up.

"Why?" He asked. I couldn't comprehend the question he was asking me. The pain in my eye felt like someone had super heated a wire and jammed it over the left side of my face.

"Why what, Al?". He stood up, his back facing me and I stood up as well.

"Why! Why didn't you run!" he shouted.

**: What about the world today?**

**What about the place that we call home? **

**We've never been so many**

**And we've never been …**

**So Alone :**

"What do you expect me to do? Abandon you!" I countered.

"You idiot! Envy isn't the type to keep a deal!" he yelled and turned sharply, his face was streaked with tears.

**: Keep watching from your picket fence**

**You keep talking but it makes no sense**

**You say we're not responsible**

**But we are, we are :**

"A-al..." I started. He shoook his head sadly.

"I-i'm sorry, iI'm so sorry..." I said anyway. I knew he was probably still mad at me from the fight. I stared down at my feet, my gold bangs fell over eyes. I didn't want him to see right through me. I never let anyone in, it always hurt too much…to burden someone with your own problems.

**: You wash your hands**

**You come out clean**

**But fail to recognize the enemy's within**

**You say we're not responsible**

**But we are, we are :**

"Why can't you just…ugh!" he said in frustration.

"Just what! Stop saving you! Even though I try my hardest and fail!" I asked.

_That's what happens when you bottle up emotions, Edward…_

"Shut up!" I yelled.

"You shut up!" Al cried in return, he looked hurt.

"No, al, not you!" I said.

"Sometimes I don't get you! Do you purposely blame yourself for attention! It's not your fault! Why are you the only one who can't see that?"

**: One step forward, making two steps back**

**My oh my :**

" I'm just taking responsibility for my actions, you should do the same!" I've had it, maybe I was just frustrated. I just had too many things to deal with at the same time, I was only 17 and I couldn't deal with these kind of problems.

**: Riding piggy on the bad boys back**

**For life :**

" I do! Maybe you're the problem, **Edward Elric**! After all, it is **your** fault that we're fighting, **your **fault that I was in the armor, and **your **fault that we live like this! Danger, pain, and Death around ever corner!" My heart sank…I thought I felt or heard something crack inside of me.

**: Lining up for the grand illusion**

**No answers for no questions asked :**

" W-well you finally admit it!" My voice cracked. I'd never heard Al say that…at all…. never. " Fine then! See how far you get without me to boost your ego! I'm your greatest project, I'm the one who the _'oh so great' **Fullmetal Alchemist** _stuck in a suit of armor!" he screamed. I heard that crack get louder, maybe it was my heart breaking….I couldn't tell.

**: Lining up for the execution**

**Without knowing why :**

" Oh, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I sacrificed my arm to keep you alive!" I fought back, to hide my breaking heart, the only thing I had left.

**: Keep watching from your picket fence**

**You keep talking but it makes no sense**

**You say we're not responsible**

**But we are, we are :**

" I bet if you succeeded, you wouldn't even consider bringing me back! You would've sacrificed _**me**_ for _**her**_!" He shouted. My heart sank even more, and I felt it shatter…

**: You wash your hands**

**You come out clean**

**But fail to recognize the enemy's within**

**You say we're not responsible**

**But we are, we are :**

He turned and stormed out of the church, leaving me alone…staring, wide eyed and heart broken at the place where Al was standing.

**: It's all about power, bout taking control**

**Breaking the will ,and raping the soul**

**They suck us dry 'til there's nothing left**

**My oh my My oh my **

**What about the world today**

**What about the place that we call home**

**We've never been so many**

**And we've never been …**

**So Alone :**

He left the doors open, and I watched the rain pour outside.

**: It's all about power, bout taking control**

**Breaking the will ,and raping the soul**

**They suck us dry 'til there's nothing left**

**My oh my My oh my… **

**I've never been…**

**So Alone : **

I fell to my knees, in a state of shock

**: END CHAPTER 7: WE ARE :

* * *

wOw this was completely different from wut i started out with on paper lol! XP  
**


	9. Confessions of a Broken Heart

(note) Audrianna changed the words "daughter to Father" to "brother to brother" (to al) THANK YOU! i had a creativiy spark for chapter 13! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! (smirk) haha i just had pie...the song is "confessions of a Broken Heart (daughter to father) by Lindsay Lohan...I X'd out the "i wear all your old clothes, your old polo sweater" part cuz it wouldn't make that much sense! XP enjoy! R&R

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**: I'll wait for the postman to bring me a letter... :**

I was cold and alone, and broken...I couldn't think, or feel...I just stood there...staring blankly at the broken mirror, Al's word ringing in my ears. I had had it...I couldn't deal with this anymore..

**: And I'll wait for the Good Lord to make me feel better :**

Hot tears threatened to fall.

_Aww...poor, poor Edward. You see he hates you, so whats the point in being the hero...?_

"SHUT UP!" I shrieked, glaring at the reflection.

**: and I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders**

**Family, in crisis,that only grows older :**

"I AM SO SICK OF THIS! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, and punched the mirror with my left fist. Glass shards flew everywhere and skimmed across my face leaving already freely bleeding cuts. Bloody tears ran down my face as I fell to my knees and favored my left hand, covered in blood.

**: Why did you have to go?**

**Why did you have to go?**

**Why did you have to go:**

_I can't leave you, because I am a part of you...deal with it, you chose this life...when you wanted to find The Stone for you brother, however, in the end he hates you...after everything you've sacrificed for him. Face it ,Edward, it's over!_

**: Brother to Brother,**

**Brother to Brother**

**I am broken but I am hoping**

**Brother to Brother,**

**I am crying, a part of me is dying and **

**these are, these are **

**The Confessions of a Broken Heart :**

I just wanted to shut everything out, I wanted...I slowly picked up a shard of the broken mirror and hesitantly slid it across my already bloody hand. The first cut, brought surprising amounts of stinging pain...but, not a painful as my broken heart.

**: I dream of another you**

**The one who would never **

**Leave me alone to pick up the pieces**

**A Brother to hold me, that's all I needed :**

I moved down to my wrist, and cut deeper...

_Come now, edward...be reasonable, you know that won't solve anything..._

"I know but, i-it hurts...it hurts" I whispered quietly. I bled, and bled and bled...then the pain started to douse.

**: So why did you have to go?**

**Why did you have to go? **

**Why did you have to go:**

I put my hand over my heart, it felt so empty and...broken like there was nothing left of me, I was dead inside. Blood ran down my forearm

**: Brother to Brother, Brother to Brother**

**I don't know you but, I still want to**

**Brother to Brother, Brother to Brother**

**Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?**

**Cuz these are, these are**

**The Confessions ofa broken heart :**

I stood up, and sprinted out into the pouring rain. The rain concealed my tear stained face.

**: I love you,**

**I love you**

**I love you**

**I...!**

**I LOVE YOU: **

I bumped into someone I wouldn't not expected, Winry.

" Edward? I was looking for you all over the place! What's goin-" She stopped in mid sentence when she saw my cut face and bloodied up arm. " Where's al?" She asked. I thought I could feel my heart break even more. I shivered.

"Winry...I-i..." I started to say, but I couldn't say it, it was to painful to mention.

"Just tell me what happend" She said calmly, and she pulled me into an embrace "What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

**: Brother to Brother, Brother to Brother**

**I don't know you, but I still want to**

**Brother to Brother, Brother to Brother**

**Tell me the truth...**

**Did you ever love me!**

**Did you every love me?**

**These are...**

**The Confessions...of a Broken heart:**

"I-it is my fault, winry..., h-he hates me..." My voice cracked. I hated the way I sounded, weak and pathetic...I was supposed to be the 'invincible fullmetal alchemist'...I just wanted to be me for a second, me...myself...the _real_ Edward Elrc, I was only 17 years old...I'm just a kid!

**: I wait for the postman to bring me a letter... :**

" He hates me...hates me..." I muttered and hugged her back.

**END CHAPTER 9: CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEART**


	10. The Kiss

HI THERE! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! here's chapter 10 w/o a song lol THIS HAS SOME EDWARDXWINRY FLUFF! MWAHAHHHAHAHAHA (ack, cough, gag)

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I opened my eyes and squinted against the sunlight. I just wanted to lie still and bleed to death, but I'm sure Winry wouldn't approve...I sat up and something white around my arm, caught my eye... Winry had bandaged it.

"Oh! your awake, how are you feeling?" She asked.

"Fine..." I whispered and stared at the floor.

"Ed, what happened to you?...when I last saw you, I mean..." She asked. I didn't want to tell her but,

_She'll find out eventually..._

The voice nagged.

"Why can't you just SHUT UP!" I yelled, and suddenly turned to Winry. Tears were already forming in her eyes.

"N-no! winry not you! I-it's just...ugh!" I cried in frustration.

"It's ok, just tell me what's the deal with you?" She asked again.

"Ok...I"m not going to lie to you, just promise me...you'll still...stay...with me. Winry, your the only one I have left...the person I can hold on to..." I started. She nodded with a look of concern in her eyes. "Something went wrong with me...that day when I went to go look for Al, after I left breakfast...I found him but, it was a trap and I was...transmuted into a Chimera, I was fused with a wolf." I explained.

"A-and...that's what I saw yesterday, with you...?" She asked and I nodded.

"That was my 'Chimera' side and that's why I ran from you. I almost killed you!" I said, and tears started to well up in my eyes, fogging my vison.

"But, you didn't! That means theres still the real you in there!" She defended.

"The 'real me'? Winry, I don't know who I am anymore...I'm not sure I _ever_ knew who I was." I said, it was true...wherever the 'real me' was inside me, it was locked deep inside, chained so tightly it felt like I wouldn't be able to breathe again...

"Yes you do, I do...the real you would go out there and look for his little brother...I know that in your heart you still love him..." She put her hand over my heart, and slowly drew back...as if she could it sense that it was broken. I looked away.

"I told you..." I whispered.

"Ed..." she called.

"I don't know where his is right now...so just-" I began, but was inturrpted...She leaned over and kissed me...just like that...


	11. Because I love him!

hi! thanx for the reviews! i've had a LOT of time on my hands so i've been typing awaaaaaayyyy! R&R

_**IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS TOLD IN NORMAL POV!**_

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Winry had just found Edward and sent him home...well, her home and now she was on a mission to find Alphonse. It was once again raining, but it was a light rain...not as harsh than the storm a few hours before. She sat on a bench under an awning, folding in her umbrella and shaking of the rain. She let out a frustated sigh. 

"Where could he be? I have to find him...I promised Ed I would." She muttered to herself. Memory images flashed to her, of when she saw Ed and the freshly madecuts on his arm. His eyes looked so dead...and sad, full of pain. It wasn't like him. "I wouldn't blame him..." She thought.

_.:Flashback:._

_Edward and Winry were sitting on the stone floor in the Church, leaning against the side of the pews."Ed you go home and stay there, and I'll find Al ok?" She asked. He didn't answer, just stared at the floor blankly. "Ed!" she called. _

_"Sure..." he answered, barely in a whisper. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. _

_"I'll find him, I promise" She tried to reassure him. _

_"Yeah..." He didn't even sound like himself. _

_"And don't cut your arm off again, got it!"Winry joked, gave a weak laugh and the laugh faded when she saw the expression on Edwards face, like he was trying not to listen to something. Winry hugged the blonde tighter, wishing she could mend his broken heart and erase his pain...He could even try to pick up the pieces...only his brother could glue the pieces back together..."I promise, everything will be ok...I-i..I love you, Ed."_

_.:End Flashback:._

She let out another frustrated sigh and started to snap and unsnap the button on her umbrella, nervously. "What can I possibly say to Al, I mean...I can't tell him about Ed. Ed's the only can tell him that, unfourtunatly. Why would he want to talk to me if he shattered Ed's heart" She said to herself. She looked up and she saw a dirty blonde haired boy with hazel-gray eyes drenched in the rain. "Al!" Winry called and stood up quickly. Alphonse turn to face her, rolled his eyes and walked away. "Al, wait!" She called after him.

"Why are you here! Did **_he_** send you find me?" He asked, harshly. Winry ran out from under the awning and caught up with the boy.

"Al you have to come back!" She said, she didn't know what to say, so she just said what came to her mind first.

"Why should I ?" He demanded.

"Have you seen what happened to your brother! You knew damn well that you 'confessing' that you hate him, was his worst fear!" She answered, walking briskly to keep up to Al's pace.

" So what if it is? I don't ...care!" He said coldly, but his eyes told otherwise.

"Al you need to see him! He's practically dead! If you look into his eyes, you see nothing...no joy, no hope, just nothing!" Winry's voice shaking.

"That doesn't matter!" He shrieked, with a wavering tone in voice. He was cracking.

"His heart is broken..." Winry cried, stopping in her tracks. Al stopped a few feet in front of her, eyes widened with concern. "He almost killed himself, if he didn't bump into me he would've...just go and see him...see the scars on his arm and wrist..." She sobbed. Al's eyes started to water.

"Brother..." he thought.

"Your the only one who can help him, your the only one who he'll listen to...please, you have to help him, he's your brother!" She tried to convince him.

"N-no, he's not...if he was, then he'd know the risks of Human Transmutation...I know that he was willing to sacrifice me for our mother..." He muttered.

"That's not true! He wanted to bring her back for you!" Winry cried. Al's heart skipped a few beats and he slowly turned around.

"What...?" he asked, frozen in shock. " My God, Al...Wasn't it obvious? Ed knew he couldn't take care of you alone with your dad being gone...you know that he beats himself up for make that mistake, and you had to pay for it the most! That's why he originally, wanted to be on a leash for the Military, and find the stone himself to get you back to normal and that's why he keeps asking you if you hate him...because, he knew it was his fault from the start, because he made the decision to bring her back! Don't you see? OPEN YOUR EYES!" She explained.

"W-why are you defending him?" His voice was shaken. Tears filled Winry's eyes and fell down her cheeks.

"Because...I love him..." She sobbed.

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HELLO MY MANY REVIEWERS! 

Short chapter, please don't kill me...next one is gonna start right where I left off so remember your spot! I'm trying to update as fast as I can! XP


	12. Memories and The circle

GREETINGS AGAIN! I KNOW THAT THERE ARE READER-NON-REVIEWERS OUT THERE! I ONLY ASK OF ONE REVIEW FROM YOU, IT'S AN EQUIVOLENT TRADE! PLEASE! i just realized that it has been raining for the past like 10 chaps haha! next one it'll be clear sunshine/ moonlight! XP

**_CHAPTER IS IN EDWARD'S POV!_**

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I trudged down the railroad, back home. The trains were closed due to the severity of the storm last night. I sighed heavily, but, gave a weak smile...It's nice to know that I have one friend in the world. It always seemed like everyone was out to get me, and it still feels that way. I just hoped that someday I'd be able to live a normal life...free of Alchemy, Magic and Hommunculi trying to kill me. I kept walking when I heard the sound of thunder again. 

"Not more rain..." I groaned. I turned around and saw an huge black cloud beginning to swallow the town behind me. I wondered if Winry found Al yet...I could understand why he wouldn't want to come back, and how he felt. I stared at my bloody bandages wrapped around my arm. I started to go back in my mind. Memories that I'd forgotten years back, were starting to return to me...of when me and Al were 7 and 8, and we had our first fist fight.

_.:flashback:._

_Me and al were sitting and talking on thehill closest to our house, when he asked the question of the subject I never wanted to hear in my life again..._

_"Brother? When do you think dad is coming home?". My heart sank, I didn't ever want to talk about him...I never wanted to mention his name or the title that we're supposed to call him. He left us, just took off and never came back. After that day passed, it somehow seemed like I was the one who had to hold things together, and take care of Mom and Al._

_"Al, I'm not sure if he's ever coming back..." I truthfully answered. Mom always said that one day he would, I don't know what I would do if he showed his face again._

_"But, mom's always saying that he will!" he said. I was starting to get more agitated at this point, af if thinking of him wasn't enough..._

_"Don't you get it Al? Mom's only telling us that, because she doesn't want us to worry about her! He's not ever coming home!" I shouted._

_"Your lying!" He cried back, defending himself. Tears were already threatening to fall down his cheeks._

_"I'm telling you the truth,Al. That's the reality of life, and you have to learn to deal with it." I explained, trying to get off the subject. Al was the dreamer, and I was the one who was 'down to earth' with my nose in an Alchemy book, trying my hardest to learn as much as I could._

_"He is going to come back, I know he will!" He shrieked and punched me in the face. Now see, being my stubborn self, I got up to my feet and launched myself at my little brother. Hours must have gone by and we were still fighting. When it finally ended, Al went to his normal spot...down by the river and I was at mine, staring at the river under the oak tree. "Edward, have you seen your brother around? I've looked everwhere, and I can't find him.", a warm voice called behind me. _

_"I don't care where he is." I responded, rather coldly. _

_"Did you two have a fight?" The woman asked, she smiled and looked at the sunset. "I sure hope nothing happens to him". She turned around and walked inside the house.  
_

_I gave and agrivated sigh and stood up. She always did that to me, pursuades me to look for Al...and it **always** worked. I started walking, when the sun almost completely vanished. I was about to give up the search and let him come home by himself when I spotted him. Carefully, I climbed down the small but, steep hill and plopped down next to him. "Hey" I started. _

_"What do you want? Can't you just leave me alone?" He asked. "Did mom send you to find me?"_

_I ruffled his hair and said truthfully, "Yes, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you and make you run away." _

_"I only ran because I didn't wanna hurt you" he joked._

_"Nah! You only ran because you knew you couldn't take me on!" I laughed. Al tackled me to ground and we wrestled untill Mom had to ask Winry to find us._

_"C'mon you two! Your mom's been worried sick!" She yelled after us. We all smiled and set off back home._

_.:end flashback:._

I gave a weak smile and looked forward...and I could see the semi-big yellow house just coming into view. A sharp pain blew into the side of my head, knocking me to the ground. I groaned and scambled to my feet, ready to fight. Envy smirked.

"Taking a stroll through memory lane?" He asked. "Something's different about you..." He circled around me, examining me. I felt a chill creep up my spine, but that was only the cold metal of the dagger that Envy had pointed at my back. If I moved I was dead, if I stayed still I was dead...Dammit. He laughed as if he could sense my thoughts, He knew I was stuck.

"What do you want!" I asked, shifting a little so I could have a better plan to escape from his grasp.

"Oooo, So demanding. Since when do you bark orders, Dog!" He sneered and applied more pressure on the blade. I could feel it beginning pierce my flesh. I winced, knowing that I couldn't show Envy what he wanted...my pain. "Maybe it's not something on the outside...maybe something's broken on the INSIDE!" He shrieked. He pulled the dagger away from me, and that when I saw my small opening. I jumped out of the way, but he was faster than me...Envy pinned me down and plunged the knife into my left shoulder. I cried out and tried to push him off me.

"GET OFF ME!" I screamed. I punched him in the jaw and kneed him in the stomach, catching him off guard. Envy fell back and I sat up. I pulled the blade out with an mighty wrench, feeling the sharp metal ripping some muscle. I stood up and Envy sat up, wiping the blood away from his mouth.

"Now, what do you want!" I asked again. My breathing was beginning get heavy.

"I just wanted to make sure you remembered your deal...**Rage**..." He answered, standing up to his feet.

"Rage...?" I thought. "I'll be there...just leave Al alone..." He knocked me off my feet and pinned me down again. He grabbed the dagger from me and held my ALREADY healing wrist down. Envy ripped the bandages off and poised the knife above my forearm and wrist.

"You're a fool, all heroes are fools...They let thier hearts and conscious get in the way, however...there is evil lurking around in all of us...even heroes..." Envy brought the knife down and carved something into my forearm. The small cuts were beginning to bleed. He got up off me, kicked me hard and disappeared from my sight. I was lying face down...the rain was starting to fall heavily...I stared at what Envy had carved...a strange transmutation circle...

**:END CHAPTER 12: MEMORIES AND THE CIRCLE:

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Sorry guys this might be my last chapter that i write untill i come back from my 2 week camp! SEE YA THEN! (ps. hint on the MIGHT)  
**


	13. A Father's Tears

GREETINGS! I HAVE COME UP WITH AN INGEINUS CHAPTER HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SORRY IT TOOK ME SO FREAKIN' LONG TO UPDATE! I JUST STARTED HIGH SCHOOL AND IT'S HARD CORE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

TO KORIN METHERLANCE! FAMOUS QUOTES!

**_UKULELE NO GOOD!_**

Haruko!FLCL

We're having your favorite: genetically-altered fermented soybeans

Mon-chan, FLCL

I am an all powerful fire demon called CALCIPHER! ...i like to do that sometimes

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_I was falling again, I knew what was coming and I didn't want  
to open my eyes. However, it was different... People's cries of pain were echoing through my head. I was Standing on top of a roof...looking down at a blazing city...Central...My hair was dark black and my eyes were crimson red. Envy walked up beside me. Smirking, he turned to me. My lips curled into an evil smile of satisfaction. Down below, Al was kneeling, holding Winry in his arms._

_"BROTHER! STOP THIS!" He cried._

_"Kill them...**Brother**" Envy whispered into my ear. I stared at Al with anger and his eyes widened in fear. I jumped down from the roof of the building and snarled at my little brother. He fell back, and tried to scoot away from me, still holding winry._

_"b-brother...please, n-no!" He begged. I leaped at them both_

"Ed! Edward!" A familiar voice rang in my ears. I quickly opened my eyes...the face I saw didn't exactly comfort me.

"W-wha...?" I groaned, "What the hell are _you_ doing here...?" I was on my back, lying on the ground...my hands were shaking. I looked at _him_, the one I never wanted too see again...My father was kneeling beside me. He held out his hand to help me up. Without hesitation, I pushed it out of the way and I could barely sit up. I pulled my sleeve over my left arm, to conceal the still bleeding Transmutation circle that Envy had carved into me. The blood soaked through, but I doubt he would notice...let alone care. He stood up.

"Edward, what happend to you...and where is your brother...?" he asked. As if my heart couldn't be more broken than it already was. I stared at the ground.

"Wh-why should you care...?" I tried to stand tall with pride, but weakness overtook me. He glanced at my right arm. I looked away to hide the guilt reflecting in my eyes.

"Ed...are you alright?"

"NO OF COURSE I'M NOT **_ALRIGHT!_**" I yelled.

"Where is your brother...?" he asked calmly. Hot tears threatend to fall. I closed them tight and turned away. Always hated to show this part of me...my 'soft' side...my weak side.

_You should, your enemies would know your weak point...that's your weakness edward, you care too much_

"SHUT UP!" I cried, clapping my hands over my ears, my left arm searing. Pain shot through every nerve of my body. "UGH!" I stumbled forward.

"Edward!" He called and he caught.

"D-don't...touch me..." I groaned as darkness overtook me...

**.:NORMAL POV:.**

Hohenhiem picked up his son and walked inside the house.

"n-no...no...leave them...alone...don't kill...no..." Ed muttered, he was shaking and cold sweat was starting to form on his forhead. Hohenhiem laid the blonde on the couch and watched over him, concern filling his eyes.

"Edward...what happend to you...?" he whispered to the silence surrounding around them both. His eyes wandered to the boy's left arm, resting across his stomach. Ed's sleeve was pushed up just enought to notice the forming scars on his wrist. Hohenhiem slowly pulled Ed's sleeve up slightly. His eyes widened in concern and fear, when he saw the deep, puffy cuts on his son's wrist. A small drip of blood trickled down and rolled off of the edge of Edward's arm. Hohenhiem lifted up his son's leeve more...The old man's ,already, worried gaze fell upon a stragen Transmutation circle...one he had _never_ seen before. He motioned his hand toward it...when cold, unforgivign Automail grapped his arm. Hohenheim quickly looked at Ed...His eyes were blood red, and full of hatred. His once soft, golden-blonde hair was now dark, harsh black. Ed glared at his father and started to _crush _his arm.

"Edward!" Called Hohenhiem, trying to bring the boy back as he stared into his son's cold, burning eyes...

**.:END CHAPTER 13:.**


	14. Father: home

SORRY A/B NOT UPDATING! HIGH SCHOOL IS A COMPLETE DRAG!

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I glared at him. All I could think about was the time he left me...left us...and _everything_ went wrong 

**.:FLASHBACK:.**

_My eyes barely slit open. The light peeked through the curtains, blinding me...then I sat up straight, quickly. The time! I glanced at my clock...6:56! Dad's train left at 7:00... I looked outside and it was snowing again. I coughed harshly and covered my mouth. I had a fever for what seemed almost three weeks._

_"Honey...?" called a warm voice. Mom stepped in and sat beside me, on the edge of my bed, feeling my forehead. I couldn't see at first, but upclose...her cheeks were streaked with tears. My heart sank, I knew it...he was already gone. I scrambled out of bed and ran out the door. "Edward, wait! Your too sick!" She called after me, but I was already outside, sprinting toward the trainstation. I weezed for air but, pushed myself on...hoping I could stop him...somehow. The train was in sight, and leaving. As soon as I reached the platform, I jumped onto the tracks, trying my best to catch up with the train...I tripped and fell forward in the snow. Coughing and trying to gasp lungfulls of air, I sat up and watched the train leave...watched him leave, as the snow fell all around me. 'I tried to stop him...i-i tried...but i-i wasn't fast enough...I let my family down...' I thought. Tears fell down my cheeks...knowing that it was up to me to keep the Elrics from falling apart..._

**.:END FLASHBACK:.**

I squeezed his wrist more until a look of pain began to creep across his face

_Yes, make him suffer...make him feel the pain that he caused you for sixteen years! GET **REVENGE** FOR WHAT--!_

Everything went silent...I could see dad mouthing my name...then I thought for a minute...what would I gain if I killed him? My grip loosened...**revenge**...was it really worth it? What would Al think of me...? Al...his words haunted my every thought. My arms fell by my sides, and I let go of my anger...submitting to my broken heart. I looked at the window's reflection, my eyes were back to gold and my hair was blonde again. I stared at the floor my mind was mulling over thoughts like 'The reason I'm like this, is because I didn't do the right thing' or 'Al hates me...for who I am and for what I did to him'. I choked on my tears, and I started to run out the door.

"Ed, w-wait!" he called. I stopped, facing the door with my back turned to him.

"What!" I croaked. I didn't want him to see me like this, in fact...I didn't want him to see me at all.

"Tell me...what happend to you ?" he asked. I slowly turned around, even though I knew my face was streaked with tears.

"Why don't you answer me _this_? Do you have _any _idea what happend when you left!...any idea how many things went wrong!" I asked, holding up my right arm and pulling down the sleeve. "And another thing...why did you leave us?...why did you leave me...?" I let my arm fall, regretfully. He looked down...and he was silent. I decided to tell him about what happend...

"Fine...then, you want to know what happend to me! I'll tell you!" I paced the room quickly wiping away my tears with the back of my left hand. "Right after you left...mom got sick...and everyday I didn't want to admit to Al or myself that she was dying...but I knew perfectly well...that she was...and after she did Al was scared, afraid of how we were going to survive with _**you and her!**_ So I promised myself...('And al...' I thought) that i-i..." I trailed off. "That i-i..." I tried to find my words but I couldn't, Al's voice pierced through me, distracting me. "That i-i wouldn't...let anything...bad...happen...to him..." I choked, feeling emensily. I slowly stopped pacing, and tears threatened to fall again.

"A-and...i-i broke..." I croaked and fell to my knees. "I-i broke it...I-i broke him...attaching him to that stupid armor...as an act of selfishness..I-i just didn't want to be the Elric left...It really is all my fault..." I whispered. I had a mixed feeling inside of me...I wanted him to leave...but I didn't want to be alone...even though...I am alone...I stared at the back of my rght hand. An image of Al with is back turned to me raced in my mind. "I-i'm so...sorry...i-i truly am..." I thought and I squeezed my eyes shut. Another image of Al in the armor flashed in my mind. I felt the tears starting to fall.

I shuddered when arm was placed around my shoulders and I looked up at him...my father whose eyes were full of concern and sorrow.

"You performed...A Human Transmutation...?" he asked calmly. I slowly nodded and looked away, wanting to disappear.

"i-i'm sorry, Al...and i-i know you'll never forgive me for what I did to you..." I muttered. Dad was kneeling beside me, and he pulled me into an embrace.

_Hold on to your family, Edward...while you still have them..._

_"I will **not **let you hurt **any** of my family or friends..." I thought._

_oh, but you misunderstand..**I** will not kill them...**you** will..._

**END CHAPTER: FATHER, HOME**


	15. AUTHORS SORRY NOTE

OMG SORRY I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND MY BACK HURTS LIKE CRAP, I HAVE CHEELEADING PRACTICE, I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE ON MY FAILING MATH AND BIOLOGY GRADE, AND ON MY SINGING CAREER!!!!!! _**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**I'M SO SORRY! I'LL UPDATE ASAP!!!!!**_(yeah i spelled that wrong)


	16. The 'reunion'

HOLA! I'M BACK! SORRY IT TOOK ME SO FREAKIN' LONG TO UPDATE!!

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**NORMAL POV

* * *

**

It was late at night, and Winry and Alphonse walked down the dirt road and the yellow house came into sight. Winry walked up the porch, and Al fell behind when something dark red caught his eye. He turned to get a better look, splotches of blood were all over the ground and his eyes widened.

"Al...?" Winry called. Al turned sharply and walked up to the door, beside her. They both walked in, and it was dark...except for one light in the kitchen. Al looked at Winry and she nodded. He slowly walked into the doorframe, when he slipped and grabbed onto the wall for support himself. Al's eyes widened when he saw the thick, crimson blood, smeared everywhere on the floor. Al slowly looked up to see his older brother sitting on the floor, with his back against the cabinet door,...covered in blood. Ed was staring blankly at the bloody knife laying in front of him. Al stood there, trying to comprehend the bloody scene.

"Al? what's the--" Winry gasped when she walked up beside Al, and covered her mouth, in horror, with her hand.

"B-brother...?" Al called. Ed slowly turned and stared at them, his eyes were dead. Al walked toward Ed when he slowly turned his head back down to stare back at the knife. Tears filled Al's eyes, tears of worry, fear and...anger. As soon as he reached Edward, he punched the blood-stained boy. Ed, being unprepared, fell over and slid in the crimson blood...smearing it even more.

"YOU IDIOT!" Al cried.

* * *

**(EDWARD'S POV!)

* * *

**

I didn't bother getting up.

"Al! Stop it!" Winry shrieked.

The circle cut in my forearm began to glow an eerie black, I stared at it and my eyes narrowed. Al turned around, I glared at the pair...lusting for **_Revenge_**...

"err..." I muttered. I stood, proudly and my reflection in the window caught my eye...long, black hair and burning red eyes...a wide smirk creeped across my lips. I gave into the anger.

_ Yes, that's it, Edward...I will give you power beyond your wildest dreams, if you cooperate..._

Winry's eyes widened as she looked over Al's shoulder. Al slowly turned around.

"Brother...?" he whispered.

"Hello..._Brother..." _I sneered.

"Wh-who are you? Your not Ed..." Al whispered.

"Wrong!" I yelled, " _**I am your Brother**_ " I smirked. I stepped up to him until I saw the fear in his eyes. "Because of you, I'm like this..." I slowly began to circle around him. "I tried to save you...and what do I get in return? A missing arm **_AND_** leg. Then again, I tried to save you in the church from Envy...what do I get from "Equalvolent Exchange"?! NOTHING! NOTHING BUT A BROKEN HEART, TORN INTO PIECES!...and anger...anger can be a dangerous thing..." I glared at him, as he stared, wide-eyed, forward. "Especially when it fuels me...My _**Chimera**_ side " I finished, still circling around him.

"What...?" He said in disbelief.

"THAT'S RIGHT!", I interrupted,"CHIMERA!!! WOLF-CHIMERA TO BE EXACT, I WAS TRANSMUTED ON ACCOUNT OF HELPING YOU!!"

"N-no...it's not true!" He cired. I stopped and turned to Winry, standing in the doorframe, frozen in fear.

"WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM?! YOU SAW MY 'TRUE' FORM!!" I snapped at her. She jumped and looked at me, her blue eyes trembling.

I blinked as words whispered across my mind...

**_"I love you..."_**

I shook my head, confused.

"Brother...i-i...i-i'm sorr-" Al started.

"NO YOUR NOT!", I shot, " I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THE PAIN YOU'VE CAUSED ME!" I lunged for Al...and he smiled, sadly...

"I really am, brother..." He muttered, as tears formed in his gray orbs.

"Edward, don't!" cried Dad and he tackled me to the ground. I stuggled under his weight. Snarling, I turned around and bit down into his shoulder. He winced as more blood spilled onto the kitchen floor.

"BROTHER, STOP!" Al shrieked, in shock when he saw Dad. He tried to pull me off. I turned sharply, letting the old man go and faced Al. Blood ran dripped down from the corners of my mouth. He backed away, eyes quivering in fear. I was about to attack, when I had some sort of a memory...

**_"Mom...? wha-?" I tried to say...no sound came out of my mouth. There she was, dressed in a long, white dress. Around us was a clearing full of green grass, white flowers...and a crystal clear lake...Her back was turned to me._**

**_"Edward...?" she called. She slowly turned around and smiled at me. "Take care of your brother for me..."_**

I stopped, dead in my tracks.

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! TAKE YOUR REVENGE!" _

screamed the voice in my head. Pain ripped through me as I bit down hard on my left wrist until I tasted the familiar iron tang of blood.

"Edward..." breathed Winry.

"Brother!" cried Al.

"A-al...get outta...here...t-take the others...w-with you..." I managed to say.

"No! I'm not leaving you again!" He shrieked.

"GO!" I yelled, refusing to let go of my arm.

"NO!" he replied.

"Dammit, al..." I thought. I quickly looked for a way out...the window...I sprang to my feet and jumped out the window, sending shards of glass everywhere. I reluctantly let of my arm and got up again. I ran hard, listening to Al shouting my name and the others calling after him. Blood dripped off the edge of my fingertips. My vision slipped in and out of focus as I slowed to a stop and fell over, face down. The smell of freshly cut grass filled my senses, and river rustled gently.

_"Damn you...bastard..." _

the voice said angrily.

"I-i...told you...I-i'm not going to stand by...and watch you...destroy my...family...even more than it is..." I breathed as everything went dark

* * *

**NORMAL POV**

* * *

"Brother!" Al cried, worriedly. He rushed to Ed's side and turned him over. Winry caught up to Al and stood over them. 

"Is he..." Winry started, afraid to ask. Al leaned over, and listened to Ed's slow and steady breathing. Slow...but breathing. Al shook his head

"No, he's alive...but far from 'alright'..." He sighed as relief overtook him. Hohenheim was the last to catch up to them, and he kneeld by his sons' side. Al pulled Ed's left arm around his shoulders, and Hohenheim helped by taking Ed's right arm and wrapping it around his own shoulders. Feeling his brother's dead weight worried Al, he'd never seen Ed act like that...and his words were cutting through to him.

"Did I...really do this to him...?" Al thought to himself.

"I-i'm sorry...al..." Ed muttered, barely audible. Tears filled Al's eyes, as those three familiar words cut through his heart...like they always had...

"I-i know you are, brother...I know..."

A sad smile creeped across Al's lips.


	17. My bad!: sorry note again

OMG! I WAS _**PLANNING**_ TO UPDATE AND GUESS WHO HAS MY ROUGH DRAFT?!?!? AL-LUVS-KITTIES!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR sorry guys (and gals) i'll update ASAP when I get my draft back!!


	18. Trust me, The Birth Of Pride

I HAVE RETURNED!

* * *

I opened my eyes, surrounding me were dark shadows and it took a while before my eyes began to ajust to the black room. 

_"What happend...?" _I thought. Something shifted close to me, I looked down at my side. Alphonse was on his knees, on the floor, he head was resting on his arm on top of the edge of the couch. He was fast asleep. Had he been there the whole entire time I was unconsious...?

"B-brother..." he muttered, almost inaudible, in his sleep. I cringed. How could he still call me that, after what he saw what I have become...? After I almost killed him...? He was holding a roll of bandages, loosely in his hand. I sat up, painfully. My left arm began to burn terribly. I slowly unwrapped my left arm, which I guessed Al had wrapped for me while I was passed out. Besides my own fang marks pierced into my wrist, the Transmutation Circle that Envy had forced into skin was glowing black again. My blood ran cold through my veins. The icy feeling constricted my lungs, making it difficult to breathe. I quickly re wrapped my wound and glanced down on Alphonse. He looked so peacful, but yet so disturbed.

_"Is that even possible...?"_ I thought. I ran my left fingers gently though his dark, dirty blonde hair. All he ever wanted was a family...and I couldn't even give him a brother. I've been such a lousy guardian to him. I felt hot tears beginning to gather in my eyes, and they started blur my vision. His gray eyes slowly opened and looked up, innocently at me. Then they widened slightly.

"Brother! Your awake!" he cried, sitting up quickly. I pulled my gaze away from his deep, gray orbs and casted it to the floor "Brother...?"

"I-i know your tired of hearing this...but--" I started.

"Brother, do you need anything? Your bandages aren't wrapped too tight are they? A-are you hurt anywhere else?", he ranted, "How's your arm?" He kept asking random questions about my health, but I refused to answer them. First, I needed to know the truth...the _real_ Truth. I looked up into his eyes.

"Alphonse, answer me...do you hate me...?" I breathed. My heart was pounding so hard, I was afraid it was going to burst out of my chest. He became silent all of a sudden.

"Brother...I-i'm afraid...it's true..." My breath caught in my lungs, I couldn't breathe again. A large lump began to form in my throat."Now that I look at it...Everything is **_your_** fault." His tone was harsh and cold.

At this point, there was nothing left of my heart...it was too broken, too weak to stand on it's own.

_"Aww, don't take it too bad...",_

The voice sneered in my mind.

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!" I screamed, but my voice faltered. I squeezed my eyes shut, in a desprate attempt to shut the world and all it's contents out.

"There, there..._**Pride**_...",

Said Al, in unison with the echoing voice in my scattered and confused mind. He roughly put his hand on my forhead.

"I'll end all the pain..."

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" a voice cried...Al was standing in the doorway. He quickly tacked the imposter standing in front of me. I stared blankly ahead, not knowing what to comprehend.

"ugh!" said the imposter as he and Al crashed to the ground. Envy changed back. He glared dangerously at Al, and punched him as hard as he could in the stomach. Al wrapped his arms around his middle, in an attempt to try and douse the pain. Suddenly, it was as if my life, my memories...were being rewound before my eyes. I tried to grasp my memories and read them, but there were too many...

_"What the hell?! What's happening to me!"_ I thought. I was drowing, suffocating in my own mind. They rewound before the Human Transmutation, before she died, before dad left...I saw a memory of me and Al...when he was one year old...A memory I swore not to forget...

**_.:FLASHBACK:._**

I was holding my sleeping baby brother in my arms. Mom was asleep on the bed and I was in the armchair in the farest corner from the door. I was staring down at the bundle of blankets I was holding, gently, as if it was porcelain and it would break if I moved to quickly. I sighed hopelessly.

_"I know he may not understand me yet, but..." _I thought.

"I promise, I'll protect you..." I whispered. The bundle stirred slightly. He opend his big eyes and looked up at me...His eyes were filled with wonder and curiosity.

**_.:END FLASHBACK:._**

Then it was gone...I couldn't remember anything...

"Brother? Brother!" Exclaimed a voice. The moonlight reflected off his dark blonde hair and soft gray eyes. He slowly stood up and rushed to my side, letting go of his stomach. He grabbed me by the shoulders, gently but firmly, and shook me lightly, enough to get my attention. I looked up at him.

"Huh? Wh-wha...?" was my only response. There was another man, with long, green spiked down. He laughed and held up a glowing, blue stone but the edges of it were black. The blonde let go of me and glared at the man, his eyes were burning with anger.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?" He yelled. What was he talking about...? I tried to listen in and follow on their conversation. The man held out his free hand to me. I stared at him.

"Come...Pride..." He whispered. Hesitantly, I stood up off the couch.

"Brother, NO STOP!!!!!!" cried the boy again, he raced toward me. The man's eyes glowed ice blue and he glared at the boy. The blonde was blown backward by an invisble force, he slammed against the wall and sank to the floor with a weak groan of pain. A twinge of concern formed in my chest as I watched him...the boy...

"Pride...?" The man called again. I look around, was he calling me...?

"M-me...?" I asked, meekly. Was...that my name...? He nodded.

"Come, brother...

_...and together we will all create Paradise...a place where we can live as a family..."_

I stepped toward him and reached out my right arm. I started at it...

"I-it isn't real?! What is this metal...?!" I thought, panicking.

"Trust me..." He whispered.

_"Trust...us..."_

A familiar voice echoed in my mind."Why shouldn't I...? What harm could it do...? I couldn't remember anything, and he seemed like he knew me well enough to help me get my memory back..." I thought. Blue and black flames opened up beneath the Man's feet and they slowly began to devour him. I was hesitant...and scared. Even so, I took his hand with my right. The dark flames began to circle around my feet as well. My eyes widened in fear.

"Trust..."

_"...us..."_

A warm sensation creeped up my right finger tips, it crawled up my hand and arm. Then it dawned on me, my arm was turning into flesh. The same warm feeling shot through my left leg and made it's way up my shin and calves. The Man smirked. The once warm bliss turned, suddenly, into searing, burning...almost unbearable pain as red marks snaked up my right arm and continued their way up the right side of my neck and down the right side of my body. I cried out in pain, hoping maybe the boy would answer...The strange, glowing red marks stopped right under my right cheekbone. Everything fell silent, until I head the pounding of my heart.

_"COMPLETE CONTROL!!!" I cried to the heavens._

A loud snarling of a wolf rose from my chest, into my throat and it escaped my lips. I glared forward, and a smirk tugged at the corners of my mouth. NEVER before have I felt so powerful,...unstoppable...INVINCIBLE... Six other figues appeared from the darkness, surrounding me and The Man. The flames continued to lick at our skin...lusting for our souls.

**_"Behold!!" announced The Man with green hair, "The Birth of our Pride". The voice inside my head laugh evily, then I felt a laugh vibrating in my chest. I threw back my head and howled...something that made me feel so...alive...powerful._**

_**"Well done, Envy..." said commanding female voice.**_

_**"Heh...it was nothing Dante." Bragged Envy.**_

_**"He may not be a Hommonculus...but we'll count him as our Seventh...Pride, the red eyed chimera..." schemed Dante.**_

**:END CHAPTER: **


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